Dear Sami, I want to suggest that your wistfulness over your first relationship with a man might be an idealized romantic misrepresentation. If you hadn’t screwed up that relationship it could have fizzled out for any number of reasons. Stop procrastinating by mooning over that loss, and figure out how you are going to fix your current situation. Professional counselling won’t work. At best, your husband will feel obligated to give you a blow job one per month and while you are laying back receiving it, your mind will be focused on the fact that he is sucking your cock under duress and hating every minute of it- you won’t get hard, angering him and frustrating you even more – believe me, this is my yearly anniversary scenario. But the other 364 days of the year, I’m rutting with a select few men who actually desire me, solicit me for hook ups and tell me how much they love eating my cum. Believe me Sami, if I can get guys to want me, you can – my only real charm is that I am authentically masculine. Every thing else about me is average. But you have to get over the guilt that you are cheating. You are being forced to either cheat or as you said, break his heart. He is leaving you only those two choices – its not your doing. Try it once, be discreet and anonymous. Find a man who is married to a woman, they have way more to lose than you so their discretion is assured. You deserve to be sexually fulfilled. It is only friction and spit, and what your sexually deceased husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Joe

My lust4cock seems a bit different than other stories I’ve read here. I’m not married to a woman, lusting after men. Instead, I’m married to a man; yet we have not had sex in eons. My lust comes in the form of trying to remember what having good sex with another man feels like. My first experience with a man was by far the best. Unfortunately, I fucked that up by not sharing critical information with him. I wound up with another man, a few months later. The sex was good, but was never as tender as that first time. That relationship ended badly, and I’m now with a man who became my husband. He’s a great guy whom I’d do anything for; however, post-marriage, I’ve learned that we have very different sex drives. Now, I feel kinda stuck. I love sex. Like, I could probably have it daily, given the right partner. Him, not so much… I spend way too many hours and days contemplating what to do. My husband and I have discussed this issue numerous times, but nothing has changed. I don’t want to cheat, and I don’t want to go through another divorce (first marriage was to a woman). Am I a martyr? Perhaps, but am really unsure of how to move forward. While I don’t want to break his heart, I realize that I need intimacy in my married life. I want to be made love to, and sometimes I just want to fuck. I often think of the man from my first time, and wonder how life would be had I been forthcoming all those years ago…

Sam

I’m in the same situation as you! I’m married to a man, who had retired his cock wayyyy before his time. The only thing for it was to make the ultimatum: what you don’t get at home you get somewhere else – he either allows me to have an open relationship with him, or I WILL end up cheating on him, or leaving him. Those were his choices. I’m in my prime, and I have a big cock that guys pine over. And although I love him, there was no way I’m gonna grow old with a lifetime of regrets. Buddy, in the name of Pan, Priapus, and Frejr… do NOT let another person decide your pleasure. You will end up feeling resentment and being tied down. Also, do yourself a favor and skip trying to resurrect you and your husband’s dead sexlife. Couple’s therapy, talks, handbooks, etc – it won’t work. I tried for years to liven up my man’s libido, but at the end of the day he’s just not interested. Even said sex is something for teenagers and young adults to engage in. But then he offered to give me handjobs without actually engaging himself any further. I was horrified at his attitude, and also quite angered at being belittled so badly for having a strong sexdrive. The harsh truth is, some people just don’t get it. And there is no way to make them. Demand an open relationship, or leave him. As it is now, you’re one step away from the friend zone as it is. No real loss.

Ben

This coming from a Gay Man who can count on one hand the number of times he has been sexually intimate with another man, you may wish to go on to responses from those who have shared a life and intimacy with another man for longer periods ~ but, as you have expressed yourself so succinctly and thoughtfully in your post, have you done so with your spouse? Perhaps it is time for both of you to begin with professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist who deals with Gay Men and their intimacy problems? If you reside in a large metropolitan area, it should not be too difficult to find one who does. I think you both would benefit from good psychological counselling. Put your sexual history behind you and move forward with your husband and solve your problems of intimacy. Stay well and proceed with your life…

Richard Anthony

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7 thoughts on “Intimacy in My Married Life

  1. Thank you all for your input. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

    Btw, Seb, it’s Sam NOT Sami. Although, my siblings insist on calling me Sammy, but I guess that’s just the torture of being the youngest child!

  2. Dear Sami,
    I want to suggest that your wistfulness over your first relationship with a man might be an idealized romantic misrepresentation. If you hadn’t screwed up that relationship it could have fizzled out for any number of reasons. Stop procrastinating by mooning over that loss, and figure out how you are going to fix your current situation.
    Professional counseling won’t work. At best, your husband will feel obligated to give you a blow job one per month and while you are laying back receiving it, your mind will be focused on the fact that he is sucking your cock under duress and hating every minute of it- you won’t get hard, angering him and frustrating you even more – believe me, this is my yearly anniversary scenario. But the other 364 days of the year, I’m rutting with a select few men who actually desire me, solicit me for hook ups and tell me how much they love eating my cum. Believe me Sami, if I can get guys to want me, you can – my only real charm is that I am authentically masculine. Every thing else about me is average. But you have to get over the guilt that you are cheating. You are being forced to either cheat or as you said, break his heart. He is leaving you only those two choices – its not your doing. Try it once, be discreet and anonymous. Find a man who is married to a woman, they have way more to lose than you so their discretion is assured. You deserve to be sexually fulfilled. It is only friction and spit, and what your sexually deceased husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

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