Hi Seb, I hope you are well. I hope you find the time to read this e-mail with patience and understanding. First let me tell you about my situation and how I feel and then you can tell me if or how you are able to help me. I’m 24, a gay man. I have not been sexually active for some time. Most of my friends don’t understand why I cant find a boyfriend or at least a ‘shag’, they say ‘you’re a sweet looking guy you should have no problem meeting someone.’ However, I know that the problems lies within me. I have very low self-esteem when it comes to my body and how i feel about it. There is nothing wrong with it externally except that I don’t have a very large penis, I guess its average to small. However, in my mind I have shut down sexually. I feel I’m a very sexual person who is blocked or trapped by his internal inhibitions and low self- esteem. I feel tremendous pressure from the gay world to be the biggest, the most hung, the prettiest – u know what I mean. I’m looking for a serious relationship and if I’m to find the man of my dreams I must sort this problem out. Its causing me a lot of stress and even depression and I’m not sexually active which I really need to be. I’m usually more passive, very sensual and sweet. The thought of going to a ‘masseur’ like you has crossed my mind a few times but I never really wanted to ‘pay for it’ as they say – there was an element of shame in having to pay someone, almost like you are not good enough to get it on your own. However I need to do this for myself if I’m going to sort my problem out. I’m genuine and it took a lot of soul searching to get to the point of writing this e-mail. Can you help me? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this e-mail. Yours, Kevin.

hello Kevin, A very clever man once told me “if your life does not exactly add up…you need to subtract”. You need to make space. You need to make space for what ever it is you want to happen. You need to be brave. I know many young gay men are taking up tantric male massage.  You could start with a few private classes to give you confidence to go to the classes. PENIS SIZE DOES MATTER, we have to be honest about that.some gay men will only have sex with men who have big ones, on the other hand their are many who see a man as a “complete package” and see intimacy with another man as more than shoving a few inches into an orifice.

1 thought on “Sexually Active Not

  1. Dear Seb,

    I can so relate to your reader “xxx”, I’m dealing with the exact same issue as my body issues are opposite his, maybe you can pass onto him my email address so that maybe we can help each other out with these issues of ours? Couldn’t hurt right?


    Btw, love love your website!!

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